How we feel and navigate through sorrow is such a very personal experience, it is challenging to write about experts' perspectives on how to do so. For this reason, I have decided to share my experience of dealing with catastrophic loss and excruciating pain.
However, I do think that the more you comprehend sadness, the more you will be informed and ready for it to strike you.
I've included some of the recommended grieving tactics that psychologists, therapists and grief counsellors may advise you to use since they provide helpful guidance and a different viewpoint on the grieving and healing processes.
Although the way I dealt with my grief may not be the best for you, reading about how I overcame the anguish of loss and went on to live a full life may give you the courage to carry on, one day at a time.
My Grief Process: How I Overcame It
I was in a hospital room on August 07, 1999, with my family. My agony made it difficult for me to breathe. I was walking through hospital corridor towards the doctor's chamber and I knew that father is no more before I entered the room. I was just 15 years old then and I can still remember every small detail at that time when doctor said that my father has passed away. I was feel a volcanic erruption inside me but I had to keep a composed face to go and pass the message to my mother and sister.
In the early stages of my grieving, I can still recall asking, "How can I make this pain go away? Why am I still sobbing? Why is it that nobody gets me? Why am I not able to be like everyone else? ”
I was lacking energy, had trouble concentrating in school, and just wanted to hide! While I wanted my life to return to normal, I didn't want to erase my father's memory.
I can clearly see that I had post-traumatic stress disorder at the time of my father's death when I look back on that period of time. I didn't know how to cope with the grief's trauma.
When I was coping with my loss, I might not have been so harsh on myself if someone had known that I had PTSD. I simply wanted it to be over with!
7 Coping Strategies I Discovered Through My Grief
Despite this difficult period in my life, I managed to get through it, and eventually the sting of loss subsided. I figured out how to be okay with my grief while still living a full and joyful life.
I want to share these seven lessons with you in order to inspire you to live life to the fullest, pursue your goals, put an emphasis on developing your resilience, enjoy the present, and value the treasures of life, love, and laughter.
"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." – Henry David Thoreau
1. Don't rush the process of healing.
On other days, you'll want to curl up in bed and pull the covers over your head to escape the outside world. You ought to carry it out.
Warning, though. During this break, don't use it as an excuse to isolate yourself from society permanently. It may be challenging for you to emerge from the pitch-black cave you are in if you cave in and remain hidden.
When grieving, there are no right or wrong emotions to experience. You should be flexible and accept that the process will be unique for you.
Stop battling it. The "necessary components" to your healing are kindness toward you and confidence in your own power, bravery, and strength.
2. Live Your Life to the Fullest Today you never know what Tomorrow Holds.
I had always wanted to write and start my own business but I kept putting it off. By keeping all my desires inside me. My priorities in life shifted after my father passed away, and as my healing process got under way, I began to feel optimistic about the future.
I started writing after many, many years of taking things slowly.
3. Your dearest gifts in life are your family and friends.
We can all only progress with the help of our friends and family. In my instance, my mother who was purely a housewife, was given the duty of taking care of livelihood of our family of three. My sister, who had to suffer greatly over the course of my father's treatment, was also in discomfort and was required to take care of her studies as well. We never talked among ourselves even though we were all in pain. Looking back at it, now I feel that was one reason for the trauma.
When I was in that much pain after the loss of my father, my tiny group of friends were my lifelines. Since I couldn't have survived or recovered without my family and friends, I gained a tremendously significant lesson about the value of these people.
4. Make Use of Your Free Will and Opt for Hope
The negative events in our lives are beyond of our control. However, by exercising our power of choice, we may manage how we respond to these difficult situations. In essence, our choices for how to live our lives affect how we really live them.
When we exercise our power of choice, we are actively looking for answers to the problems we are facing. Utilizing our freedom of choice enables us to see how we might advance.
We must continue to believe in a better future in order to go forward, and optimism and a positive outlook on life accompany hope.
5. Discover Your Life's Purpose
Your life takes on significance when you discover your purpose. Clarity, focus, and hope for the future come from knowing your purpose in life.
The quest to discover your mission shouldn't overwhelm you. The voyage is extensive. Don't give up. Create a plan, execute it, and follow through. As you move forward, set reasonable, doable goals.
No matter how minor or how large your accomplishments may be, be sure to acknowledge them. Share your accomplishments with the people you care about and celebrate it.
6. Don't let your past dictate how you live.
Your opportunity to gain the lessons you need to deal with your present life comes from your prior experiences. Let go of your life's regrets, come to terms with your past, accept it, and go on.
Don't waste your time on unimportant things. Instead of concentrating on what you lack, consider what you do have.
Seek out chances to learn more about yourself and develop your self-confidence. You are not who or what your former experiences were. You are what you decide to be, both now and in the future.
Become the resilient, powerful, and empowered person you want to be. the person who lives a happy, fulfilling life and looks forward to the future.
7. Maintain your strength and embrace its unpredictable nature.
The road of life is strange and fantastic, filled with both beautiful and unpleasant things. Running away from the difficulties life throws at us is not the way to deal with it.
When you flee, there is nowhere you can go except nothing!
"“The darker the night, the brighter the stars, The deeper the grief, the closer is God!” – Fyodor Dostoevsky
Final Thoughts
You will always be surrounded by the suffering, agony, and difficulties of life. For a brief period, but only for a brief while, it is OK to disintegrate. Even though grieving is unpleasant, there are many lessons to be learned from it that will make you a better person.
Give yourself some time. Become more resilient and strong so that you can handle the pain and difficulties that life presents you with.
For my dear Papa - P. Unnikrishnan, You are always with me
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